Writing on the Wall

  We got an unexpected blessing the week before Christmas this year.  Our eldest grandson Cole was able to come back home with us after our Christmas celebration at his house.  We always love spending time with our grandsons.  They are a source of great joy and fun to us.  They are also often times a source of unexpected wisdom and require us to take a look at things from a different perspective.

  During our 3-hour journey home from his house, we had to make a necessary "bio" stop.  When Cole got back in the car he proceeded to tell me about what he saw written on the bathroom wall.  I cringed with the thought of what was coming. I expected a question about the meaning of a certain word or phrase.


  "Neena", he said.  "I saw that someone had written on the wall, Jesus is coming soon, are you ready?"  


 I asked him how that made him feel.  He said "It made me feel happy.  I want Jesus to come back."


 Of course that made my heart sing with joy that he felt this way and understands what the Bible says about Christ's return. We've talked many times about the new Heaven and the new Earth and what the Bible says about we as believers in Christ can look forward to.


  Then he said, "but, to the left of that someone wrote "f...  Jesus" and then to the right someone wrote "who is Jesus?".  I asked him how that made him feel and he said "very sad".  Then he said something very profound for a 10-year old.  "I'm not sure which makes me sadder, what was written on the left, or what was written on the right.  I can't believe that people don't know who Jesus is and I want to tell them."  


 Wow.  The fact that people don't know who Jesus is makes my 10-year old grandson feel very sad and makes him want to share the gospel!  What a blessing!!  I used this opportunity to talk to Cole again about the great commission that God calls all Christians to.  "Go out and spread the good news!"  I then warned him that this won't be easy and that many suffer for that cause.  He then told me I was scaring him.  I was checked on that a bit.  I don't want to scare him, but I don't want him to be caught off guard either when he talks about Christ to the world and is met with great hostility.  There is a price for serving Christ.  That then lead us to talking again about when Christ does return and the rewards for serving Him.


  Our Church is about to embark on a Church-wide look at God's intent for the body to be "SENT" out to fulfill the great commission.  I expect it will be a great challenge for many--including me.  Although many in our own country may know the name of Jesus, most don't KNOW Him.  I pray this fact breaks our heart and drives us to go OUT and introduce the lost world to Him.  Then, with the power of the Spirit maybe in the future when we see written on the wall the question regarding people's readiness of Christ's return we'll see to the left and to the right: "Yes, Lord Jesus come!"

Hidden Treasure

  I just love Thanksgiving time.  I try to live a life of Thanksgiving to God in my heart with word and deed everyday, but the national time for special Thanksgiving that allows our family and friends to gather with us is what I love about this holiday so much.  We have a house-full of family and friends this long Thanksgiving weekend and for that we are so blessed.  We have plenty of everything, including love for each other.

 Outside of Rusty and I however, our family who is gathered, do not know Christ.  They're not opposed to Him in any way.  As a matter-of-fact, they do believe He exists.  They just don't know Him, trust in Him, worship Him, or seek Him. Although....we do believe there is work being done by the Spirit in this area. We have seen glimpses and have been asked questions :-)  But one thing they do trust in and seek (so far at least) is money.  Joking around they'll say "all I want for Chrismas is a million dollars".  I don't know why a million dollars is the number, but it always is.  This year, we happened to have  million dollar bills with the gospel message printed on them.  When our family starting joking about the million dollar gift, I went to find those bills and gave each member of the family one. I told them that this was really worth a lot more than a million dollars. They laughed, looked at the bills, then left them laying on the table.

  I was saddened by this...as I am anytime Jesus, who gave all for us, is disregarded so easily.  I know His heart is broken by His creation when they don't know Him and don't desire to know Him. It is for this reason He came into the world to begin with, so His creation would know Him. 

 John 1:9-11  The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him.  He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.

  But then, I remember grace. It was through the grace of Christ that I came to Him...that any of us come to Him.  I too was as lukewarm about Christ as our family is at one time.  If someone handed me a track I don't know that I would have considered it worth anything either.  But instead of disdain and contempt, Christ showered love, mercy and grace upon me.  So, I have to take my thoughts captive and remember that as a follower of His, I need to respond in the same way. 

 My prayer for our family, friends and everyone within our personal sphere of influence is that one day, before they take their last breath, Christ will be more valuable to them than anything in this world.  That He would be to them as valuable as to the man in the parable as told in Matthew 13:44 - “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field." 

 For that matter, I pray that I value Him in the same way.

True Love

  My "get along with everyone" nature REALLY doesn't want to write this.  I do love people and want to be loved by people.  But more than loving people and trying to be loved by them, I love God.  I long to hear Him say "well done, good and faithful servant".  So, I relinquish my feelings of timidity and write this.  I pray it reaches whomever it is that God wants it to reach because I have a true love for them! 

 Recently I saw this graph on a Church-going friend's Facebook page. 

Find the gay person:
유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유 유
Can't do it? That's because LGBTs are humans too, and they all deserve to be treated equally. Copy and paste this as your status if someone close to you is lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender.

  I understand the sentiment but if you think about it, you could use this same sentiment and say "find the pedophile, find the serial killer, find the adulterer, find the liar, etc, etc".  Yes, they're human too.  I do believe they should be treated equally in this way...speak the truth of the Gospel to them.  

 We have a skewed sense of what true love is in our culture. We think that allowing people to continue to live however they want to, whether or not it leads to death, is love. When in reality, confronting people with gentleness and respect with the truth of Jesus, is real love.  Would you allow people to walk off a cliff to certain death without sounding an alarm and trying to get their attention however you could?   Allowing people to commit spiritual suicide without any intervention is not love, it's of Satan.  

 I'm not picking on the sin of homosexuality alone here.  It doesn't matter if your sin is homosexuality, adultery, murder, swindlers, or drunkenness, God says you will not enter His Kingdom. If you don't enter His Kingdom when you die, there's only one other place you'll go, and that's hell. A place Jesus was very vocal about in Scriptures because He has true love for us!  

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 (NIV)

Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God?  Do not be deceived:   Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

  If you claim to be a Christian and are living contrary to what the Bible teaches, you are subject to tougher judgment.  PLEASE, reconsider, repent and come to a saving relationship with Jesus!

 Hebrews 6:4-6 (NIV)

 It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age and who have fallen away, to be brought back to repentance. To their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace.

 

Our Story (Part 6 - Into Service)

  Just as Moses and Jesus spent time in the desert before being placed into service, we were called out to a desert time of our own....

  We'd lived in our dream home for only 18 months when Rusty announced out of the blue, "I think we need to move closer to home".  That simple declaration resulted in a big step of faith.

  We picked a large number out of the air and put our home on the market thinking that if it sold for that amount we'd take that as a "sign" that this was of God. Well, the house sold within 3 weeks for full asking price!!!!!  There was NO haggling!  We were dazed.  But, we knew God well enough by that time to trust Him so we both gave notice to our employers that we were moving to Indiana and giving up our jobs.

  Well, God had other plans for us.  A man "happened" to be visiting our office in Austin and heard that I was leaving the company and moving to the midwest.  He had a position open in Champaign IL and asked me if I'd be interested in going to work for him there.  The company would pay for our move,  put us up into temporary housing until we found a new home and pay for our closing costs on a new home!  As if that weren't enough, Rusty's company asked him if he'd be interested in working from IL for them for a period of time.  He was in HR, and not working for a high-tech company. It was a vending company!  This was nothing short of miraculous.

    So, we moved to IL.  We pulled into Champaign IL at noon on 1 Feb 2001 and the temperature was 2 degrees!  Totally opposite of a real desert experience :-)  We knew absolutely no one or anything about the town.  Unlike the military where you have sponsors in the new location to help you get settled, we had only faith.

  I wish I could say that we accepted this new calling on our life with much grace, faith and joy; but we didn't. Especially me.  I was unhappy living there.  For our friends reading this in Illinois, please don't take this personally. This was my heart condition--not a reflection of you or your state.  My job situation was extremely stressful, and Rusty was bounced around in different jobs and was working very long hours.  For the first 4 years we lived there I was praying and asking God to move us.

   Well, He gave us the chance.  When we had been in IL for 4 years, the company I worked for decided to close the local office.  We were given the choice to move back to Austin or San Jose CA, or take a severance package.  We had 6 weeks to make a decision.  We prayed over it and when the 6-week period was up, we chose to move back to Austin.  We didn't have a sure sign (at least what we expected to see) of God's will either way so we chose what made the most sense to us and what we perceived as an answer to our prayers.  Well, for 3 weeks after we made that decision, neither Rusty or I had peace.  So, we submitted to the Spirit and changed our decision.  We opted to take the severance and stay.  This took faith beyond what we could muster on our own but God gave us a peace that transcended all understanding.  He rewarded that faith and obedience in a big way.  A month prior to my termination and loss of 6-figure income (with no college degree remember), He delivered another position within the company to me. That job enabled me to work from home full time and not only keep my pay, but get a raise!   I repented for my lack of faith, joy and trust in Him.  My heart changed again and I vowed that no matter where He had us, I would serve with all my heart.

   We did join a Church there for the first time in our life.  We met some wonderful God-loving people and we enjoyed serving alongside them.  But the truths of Paul's letters to the Churches in his epistles definitely came alive to us during this time.  We learned so much about living for Christ both in the world and in the Church.  The truth that not all who attend or even serve within a Church are true Christians became very clear to us.  Satan does some of his most effective work from within the Church.  This is not a surprise to God and shouldn't be a surprise to His children.  We need to always put on the full armor of God!  Paul wrote so often about this in Scripture and we learned it first-hand.  We have a much better appreciation and understanding of why Paul wrote about Church discipline, discernment and leadership qualifications. We were so willing to serve wherever needed, that we sometimes took positions within the Church that we were neither qualified for or called by God to serve in.  But, He used it for His glory.   Rusty and I were baptized in a beautifully sweet ceremony in a pond outdoors.  A group of people playing golf on the other side of the pond stopped playing to watch.  This was Rusty's first time baptized and my re-dedication to Christ.

  God blessed us in so many ways while in IL.  Our beautiful daughter moved to IL when we'd been there about 3 years so she was close to us again.  We gained a son-in-law and 3 grandsons while there.   Our daughter told me that while we were in Germany, she had a friend who would take her to Church with them when she spent the night so she knew about Jesus too. She'd even learned some worship songs which she surprised us with knowing when she started going to Church with us.  God is SO faithful!  Our daughter and her husband are attending Church to this day and ensuring the boys are learning about God! Baptism is now being considered!

   After we had accepted in our heart that IL was were God would have us serve, He moved us.  This reminds me of the story of Moses and the Israelites in the desert. Their journey should've taken only days, but because of their hard hearts and disobedience, their time in the desert was extended and it took 40 years for them to arrive in the promised land!  After completing 7 years in IL, without any premeditated planning on our part, He moved us to Indiana (this may be a blog of it's own in the near future).  He also delivered to us our own business, a book shop, which has been a dream of ours for a long time.  God has also blessed us with wonderful God-loving, service-oriented, mission-minded friends and Church.

 We are currently in another time of trusting fully in Him.  We have recently given up the big 6-figure income and are relying totally on His provision.   We know He can be trusted fully even when, especially when, it makes no sense from the world's perspective.

  I want to clarify something here in our story.  I've glossed over many struggles and hard-times we've faced in our faith.  This is mainly because they are nothing compared to the blessing and worth of serving Christ in every circumstance.  But so many people are being told that coming to Christ means you'll be blessed with health, wealth and positive things only and I don't want to portray that falsely with our life's story.  Jesus tells us "in this world, you will have trouble" but He also promises to be with us always.  Everyone will have trouble in this life, whether a Christian or not.   How much sweeter to face that trouble with the Lord!  Following and serving Christ is not an easy road.  If it were, everyone would take it.  But the rewards and deep sense of peace is SO worth it.

 Romans 14:17-18  For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.

Our Story (Part 5 - Prodicals Come Home)

  In the mid 90's there was a draw down of military forces in our country. Rusty and I had became eligible to retire from the military with only 16 years of service.  We opted to take that opportunity and enter the civilian world.  We were stationed in Germany at the time.

  When we were thinking about retiring, we would talk often about where we would live, how much money we might be able to make on the outside, etc.  I remember saying that if I could find a job making $30K a year, I'd be thrilled.  Even though we liked having fun and buying things, we never aspired to wealth. That was never a goal.

  Three years after we retired, in spite of my saying no numerous times to a head-hunter, I found myself working for a high tech start-up company in San Antonio.  Five months after I started working for them a fortune 500 company bought us.  Unbelievably, when they bought us, they not only kept the people, they gave us shares in their company in exchange for the shares we owned in our company.  Our company stock was worth 0, theirs was worth $60 a share!  Overnight I went from living from paycheck to paycheck to having plenty!

  About a year after moving into our country dream home, Rusty and I were sitting on the porch one evening when I asked the question aloud, "how in the world did we get here?"  But the question ran deep in me.  As I sat there and reflected on my life, I was absolutely amazed at the path it had taken.   Usually God uses very difficult and painful events in people's lives to bring them to Him.  It's normally when we get totally stuck or lose hope that we're willing to let Him in.  But, in our case, He used very positive events.  I don't know why. Maybe because pain, lack of money and broken relationships was the norm in our life and He knew He'd get our attention faster with the opposite. That is pure conjecture on my part. Who can know the mind of God?  All I know is that we didn't deserve it.

   I started thinking more about God.  I set out to find my Bible and thought I'd just start reading through it.  As an adult, I had heard many things about God. Some sounded familiar and true from what I recalled as a child, but many things didn't.  So I cried out to Him, "God, I want to know who you are and I want to know it from You, not man."  I opened up the Bible to Genesis, and started reading.  Months went by and I stuck with it, praying often for His guidance.  I got to the book of Dueteronomy when it hit me, "this is all about Jesus!".  I couldn't wait to get into the new Testament where it talked about Jesus more clearly so I'd alternate reading a book in the old and new Testament.  I was sitting on my front porch when I started reading the book of John.  I read "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made."  My jaw dropped as I grasped what God just revealed to me.  Jesus was not just a man, or a created mini-god being used by God on earth, he Himself was God.  Not God the Father, but God the Son!  This was quite a revelation to me.  I continued to read, pray and grow in faith.

  I wasn't saying anything to Rusty yet about my journey but I longed so much for him to join me in knowing God.  On our 20th anniversary I wrote Rusty a letter.  In that letter I told him that I loved him  but there was something missing in our marriage. I asked him if he would seek God with me.  Rusty read that letter and wept.  He told me that he'd do anything for me, but he didn't know if he could that.

  A few more months went by and I focused on my own learning and praying.  I started praying for Rusty and asked God to reveal Himself to Rusty as He had me.  I didn't know this for some time, but Rusty had gone into Walmart not long after our anniversary to pick up something and as he walked by the book section, he said he saw only one book on the shelf there and it was "The Bible For Dummies".  He told me later that he could not walk past that book without buying it.  It jumped off the shelf at him.  Funny how God works--yes, even in Walmart :-).

 Sometime during his reading of the Bible For Dummies, God softened Rusty's heart.  He "forgave" God and asked Him to take over his life again. We were not going to Church and not hanging out with other Christians, but God was teaching us.  We knew we needed to get with other believers and serve with them, but we didn't know where to start. God took care of that.  He asked us to leave Texas and go to a land where we knew no one.  A foreign land to us.....Illinois!
 
 That story is coming up next......

  Remember my wish-list from high school?   Here I was with a wonderful husband who loved me enough to get past his pain and seek God, a beautiful dream home, and not one but 3 nice cars.  There was one thing missing on my list, the number one item---serving God.  

Jeremiah 29:12-14  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity...."

Our Story (Part 4 - Wise in Our Own Eyes)

  As I read through the Bible and the life of King David and the nation of Israel, I often  wonder "how in the world could they walk away from God and do such wicked things when He has done such powerful things in their lives?  David was a man after God's own heart at  a very young age and yet for a time during his reign, he lived totally contrary to God's will, even committing adultery and murder.  How can this be?"


  Well, Rusty and I did the same.  We both knew God at a young age.  I can testify to how He saw me and my family through some very difficult times, and yet, when I got older, I too thought I could live apart from Him and His will.  After all, we're good people---right?  The truth is, we broke every commandment of God.  When you understand the real meaning of what it is to commit adultery (even lusting after another with your eyes) and murder (if you hate your brother, you commit murder in your heart), you realize that God's standard of "good" is so much higher than any man's.  None of us are "good". 


 One thing I didn't mention about Rusty in his testimony is that there was a youth director at the Church he attended who got cancer and died in his early 20's.  Rusty was very close to him.   He left behind a wife and 2 small children. Rusty thought this was very unfair and he got very angry at God.  When I met Rusty, this is where he was in his spiritual walk.


  Rusty left for the Air Force on his 18th birthday.  I graduated from high school only 2 months after my 17th birthday so I couldn't join the military but it was in the back of my mind.  I had no desire or money to attend college.  Learning came pretty easy to me and I was bored with the classroom.  But I had to get away from home.  So I moved away to live with an Uncle and then an Aunt, both in Michigan.  I worked in various jobs but knew this is not what I wanted out of life.


  God brought another wonderful Christian family in my life a few months before my 18th birthday and the Dad happened to be an Air Force recruiter. They hired me in their office to do office jobs and to learn more about the Air Force.  That family took me in and gave me a place to live until I figured out what I wanted to do next. They also took me to Church with them--a place I'd not been since leaving FL.  I soon knew that the Air Force was what I wanted to do next so two weeks after my 18th birthday, I joined the military and left my childhood behind.


 Rusty and I were both stationed in San Antonio Texas after we completed our technical training.  I met him 3 months after I joined the military.  Within 8 weeks of our first date, we were married. Within 3 months of marriage, we were pregnant, and a week before our first anniversary, we were parents. So within the first 18 months of our leaving home, we were new military members, newlyweds, new parents and clueless!  If we ever needed God in our life, it was then.  But we were young and invincible.  We could do it on our own!


  For the next 20 years, we faced many tough challenges.  Our marriage wasn't the smoothest and we made plenty of mistakes. There were various times when one or the other of us wanted out.  But thankfully, by God's grace, neither of us wanted out at the same time.  One of us was always willing to hang onto our marriage when the other didn't.   We also wanted more children but never conceived again which broke our hearts. We adored our daughter and didn't want her to grow up as an only child but it wasn't to be.  We buried that hurt by chasing after other things.  Success was measured by material belongings, career achievements and fun.  For so many years, we lived from weekend to weekend.  The biggest thrill was when the clock struck 5:00 on Friday and we could meet with friends to party.


 But there were many times in that 20 years that God would tap us on the shoulder and remind us He was there.  Rusty served as a casualty representative during Desert Storm.  He received notifications of wounded and killed Air Force members and had to provide that information to military officials in the airmen's home town so that the news could be personally delivered to the families.  There is a saying that "there are no atheists in foxholes."  I do believe that.  At the deepest level of every man,  when in fear of certain death or despair, even the most vocal deniers of God will cry out "Oh God, or Jesus Christ" involuntarily.  I always knew God was there. I even silently prayed to Him many times during those first 20 years of our marriage but I hid the light that was in me and my testimony was dead.  God gave us over to our choices for a time, but He never let us go.

  Ironically, I didn't keep a journal during this 20-year period.  I look back now and think "just as God has forgiven me,  putting my sin out of His mind, I too have forgotten details of it by not recording it to be counted against me".  Amazing!  But, what comes next is recorded....



Isaiah 5:20-22:  "Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet  and sweet for bitter.  Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight.  Woe to those who are heroes at drinking wine and champions at mixing drinks.."

Our Story (Part 3 - Terri's 1st Encounter)

   I could write so much here as I have kept journals since I was 9 or so.  But, in respect of your time and to highlight the most important things, I'll try to keep it brief.


   I grew up in a small town in FL until the age of 14.  I am the oldest of 4 children, 3 girls and 1 boy.  My family wasn't wealthy by any stretch of the imagination but for the most part we had enough. 


  I wasn't reared in a Christian home either.  We didn't pray at home, read the Bible together, or live by God's precepts, but Mom did  make it a point to take us to Church relatively often for a period of time.  I give her great credit because she didn't just drop us off to go by ourselves, she went with us.  For me, just as for Rusty, going to Church was a way of socializing.  We lived in the country and going to Church was a way we got to see people other than our family.  It was in Church that I heard of God and Jesus, sin and our need for repentance.  I wasn't sure what all that meant but every Sunday after the sermon, there was an invitation to walk to the altar to the song "Just As I Am" and ask Jesus to forgive me.


  I was 12 years old when there was a young lady visiting our Church who came to sing for us.  She sang the song "Jesus my Everything".   I'm sitting in the pew, tears streaming down my face, knowing that I wanted to know this Jesus that she sung so beautifully about.  At the end of that service, I went to the altar and asked Jesus to forgive me of my sins and take over my life.  I was baptized not long after on a chilly Feb morning in a baptismal that had no hot water.  I remember coming up out of that water and taking in the deepest breath of my life.  I'm not sure if it was solely due to the cold water or the feeling I was taking the first breath of new life, but it's a breath I remember to this day!  A dear lady from Church, Mrs Banta, gave me a Bible as a baptism gift. It was "The Living Bible"  a paraphrased version, but it was very easy to read and understand for a 12-year old. I cherish that Bible to this day.  She also encouraged me to come to her if I had any questions about what I read, or about Christ, or about life in general.  She was one of God's faithful servants!


  Life for my family got really difficult not long after that.  Mom and my stepfather divorced (after many many years of fighting) and we found ourselves without a home and no money.  I was so happy to be out from under that man's roof that I was okay with not having anything else.  Again, God used Mrs Banta as a wonderful servant.   She gave us a roof over our heads, brought us groceries and made sure we had what we needed.  It makes me tear up today to know how much of a sacrifice that lady must've made for us. We were no relation to her at all, had nothing to give her in return, and yet, she gave to us unselfishly.  This my friends, is the love of Christ.  She not only helped me with my spiritual growth, but she met a very physical and emotional need.


  During this time, I grew especially close to Jesus. I would steal away to private places in the woods, in the pasture, along the river, where ever I could get away from everyone, take my Bible, read and pray.  Jesus was as real to me as anyone else.  He became the Father I didn't have.  I couldn't see Him with my eyes, couldn't hear Him with my ears, nor touch Him with my hands, but He was there, speaking and guiding me.  Every now and then I will open up that old Bible and look at the notes I used to write within it's pages and I'm amazed at the insight I had as a young child.  


  A big change came in my life again at the age of 14.  My Mom remarried and we moved from north FL to Swaziland, Africa.  Ripped out of my comfort zone, God put a missionary family in our life that had a great impact on me.   They modeled for me how a Christian family is to live.    It involved a lot more than just going to Church.  They sang songs of praise and hymns, they read the Bible and prayed together.  They sacrificed living a life of creature comforts to serve others. Oh, they weren't perfect!  No one is. That's the whole point of the Gospel and the good news. But they lived out their faith in a tangible way.

  I moved back to the States when I was 15 and because of the vast differences in the education system (I had been attending a college prep school for girls in South Africa), I was placed into 11th grade versus 10th where most kids my age were.  Being with "older" kids,  coupled with being the new girl in a new school in a new State (Indiana), and the great need to fit in, I turned away from living for Christ.  Boy, how quickly we forget and fall!


 In my High School memory book, in the section where you're to write your goals for the future, I wrote this list in this order:


 1.  I want to serve God.
 2.  I want to be married only once to a man who loves me and our children.
 3.  I want a nice house.
 4.  I want a nice car.


 This is important as you'll see when you read the rest of the story! :-)


Proverbs 22:5-7  "In the paths of the wicked are snares and pitfalls, but those who would preserve their life stay far from them.  Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it."

Our Story (Part 2-Rusty's 1st Encounter)

  Rusty grew up in a poor family in a very small town in Indiana. He is the oldest of 4 children, 3 boys and a girl.  Not only was the family poor monetarily, they were very poor spiritually.  The family did not go to Church together, pray together, or mention God other than maybe Christmas or in profanity.  It's not that they were unbelievers, they did believe He existed, they just didn't see the value of knowing Him.  Church was really looked at as an entity where hypocrites gathered to make themselves feel better.  Besides, money was scarce and Rusty's Dad worked hard to provide for the family.  Rusty's Mom was struck with cancer in her early 30's and lost her leg, so it took all she had to keep the family taken care of at home.  In their opinion, at best, God was a cosmic kill-joy watching people struggle from afar.

   Rusty did have some good friends though whose family went to Church. At age 10 they started inviting him to Church with them.  He jumped at the chance to go.  It was a social outing away from home and a chance to meet new friends.  He heard a lot about God and Jesus and was even moved during one revival service to seek forgiveness and walked up the long aisle (at least it seemed long) to the altar.  He "accepted" Christ during that service and he tells me that he walked home after that as if his feet never touched the ground.  He felt the touch of Christ on his life. 

  Unfortunately, there was no mentor ship, no discipleship, no follow-up.  Although Rusty became aware of Christ in a personal way and desired to follow Him, with no one to help him to grow in the Word, he strayed away to pursue the things of the world.

  I want to stop the story here today to talk about this last point because this is where our heart is and why we feel God has us in the mission we're in at the book shop.    Dear friends, if you have people coming to faith in Christ in your Church or in your sphere of influence,  PLEASE make it a point to help disciple and mentor them. They are babies and as such, are subject to attacks of all kinds.  Being left to defend themselves is not the model that Christ gives us in Scripture. False teaching is rampant and way more accessable to the casual believers and new converts than the solid truth is.   Just turn on the T.V. or walk into many Christian bookstores for examples!  And sadly, too many Churches are too busy with programs, projects, or whatever else to intentionally disciple new believers.  This is a tragedy!  God will make good on His promise to redeem and save a truly repentant believer who is doing their best to trust and walk with Him, but my goodness how much better and faster for a new believer if they have people helping them along the way!   Besides, this is how God modeled it for us during Jesus' incarnation as man on earth.

  And for goodness sake, don't take a child's submission to Christ lightly.  Rusty was 11, I was 12. But there are some younger.  We KNEW Christ that day.  We just needed some adult guidance and care giving to help foster our spiritual growth. 

Matthew 19:14:  Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

  The next blog to come is my first encounter. Stay tuned! :-)

Our Story (Part 1)

  Yesterday, my wonderful husband stood up in front of our Church congregation as a new elder and gave his testimony.   I have never been more proud of him, nor more aware of the target on him in the spiritual realm.  In God's awesome timing, He is ministering to me through the word of Ezekiel and I'm very aware of the prayer covering that I as his wife need to be diligent about.

   As a part of Rusty's testimony yesterday, he mentioned that early in our marriage, he was overcome with the feeling that he would die young. As a matter-of-fact, he felt he would be dead by age 40.  For many years he couldn't shake that feeling.  In his late 20's, he starting have seizures that couldn't be accounted for medically.  Epilepsy and other "normal" known causes were ruled out.  After his second serious seizure in 3 weeks, he was hospitalized for about a month while they ran all kinds of test on him.  Everything came back clear.  He was told then he'd have to be on seizure medicine the rest of his life. This didn't help to alleviate the feeling that he'd die young.

    I want to share the rest of the story he couldn't tell yesterday about how we both surrendered to Christ.  I will break that out in multiple blogs though.  This is because I don't want to skip sharing every detail that God wants me to share for whoever might need to hear it all, but also because the story is not just about his conversion, but also mine.  Although we were "reborn" in our late 30's, Christ's provenient grace started in our lives at a very young age.  He pursued us for many many years and I want to cover some of that. I feel lead to share this portion too because there may be some who sense His tugging at them but not sure its Him, or there may be parents, children, grandparents, who have been praying for their loved ones for many years and have yet to see an answer.  I want to encourage you via this blog. 

 So, this is just Part 1.  Just enough to hopefully whet your appetite for more.  We have an amazing story to tell of God's love, His longsuffering, His passion for us personally!  I will do my best to post a new part each day so as not to keep you waiting too long.

 Rusty is 51 years old now...so obviously he didn't physically die at 40.  But he did die to self  at 39 and how that played out will be told soon :-)

Psalm 107:21-23:   Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind. Let them sacrifice thank offerings and tell of his works with songs of joy.

 

What's your Prejudice?

   I recently went to see the movie "The Help" and it brought to surface some long-ago memories for me. I grew up in the deep south and remember very well the day the "colored" school was closed and "they" were brought to our school.  I learned at a very young age about prejudice which was very much alive and well in South Africa where I lived as a young teen-ager.   I made it a priority back then to get to know people of all color and love them for who they are, not what color they are.

  It is hard to believe that people can be so ignorant and outright mean to each other.  But, we are.  Sometimes it's fear, sometimes it's a feeling of insecurity of one's own status in life, and sometimes it's just down-right evil at work.  The color of one's skin is just one of many reasons we come up with to separate ourselves from others.  For those of us who pride ourselves on not having a racial prejudice, what other prejudices might we harbor?  

  As I watched the movie, I realized that there are definite sub-cultures all around us.  We may or may not be aware of them.  I am not aware of them for the most part. So as I drove around our town this week, I made myself really see the different neighborhoods that I saw.  Trailer parks, upper scale neighborhoods and "middle" income homes are all here.  I made myself pay attention to my own emotions and thoughts as I drove through the different neighborhoods.  In full disclosure, a confession of sorts, here is what I discovered:


 Trailer parks:  My first thought was, why would anyone choose to live in a trailer park?  I would never choose it.  Then, I took that thought captive and realized a few things.  1)  I used to live in a trailer as a child.  I only realized it wasn't the only way to live when I spent the night with friends who had houses that went in many different directions, not just in a rectangle :-).  I wasn't unhappy and only felt inferior when others made fun of me.  2) Many people may not "choose" to live in a trailer park. That's their only affordable option.  and 3) Some people do choose to live in a trailer park because they like it!  In FL, there are plenty of people who have given up their big houses to live in beautiful trailer parks that become communities of friends.


  Upper scale neighborhoods:  I am probably more prejudiced against these!  And again, I've lived in such a neighborhood.  So how hypocritical is that???  Many people I know who live or have lived in such a high-priced neighborhood, have sacrificed marriages, families, and souls to keep up the appearance of living richly.  Not all of course, there are many who live in good balance and can still live so extravagantly.  I know many who give a lot of their fortune away and live this way.  I also know that when I was living in such a neighborhood, there were some people who would not come to our house because they felt inferior, or thought we thought too highly of ourselves--even though they were invited to freely come (sounds like Christ's invitation to us to the wedding feast doesn't it?).  So there is definite prejudice against the wealthy.  It's especially popular and acceptable to be prejudiced against the rich these days.


  Middle income neighborhoods:  This is where I feel most at home. I can understand and relate to people the most in this social status.  But even then, there are many struggles in these homes with the balance of work and family. 


  You know what I don't see in my town?  Homeless.  I know that sub culture is around and from what I hear, growing fast.  But I don't see them.  I can't relate to the homeless at all as thankfully, I've never been homeless (although, at one time when I was 14, if it weren't for a dear lady who was a great friend of my Mom, I might very well have experienced it). 

 Jesus spent most of His time on earth with the sub cultures of this world.   He even chose to live as one of them.   He brought them hope, healing, love, mercy, grace and truth. He wasn't afraid to touch the leper, eat with tax collections, defend the prostitutes, lift up the children and chastise the self-righteous.   I am a follower of Christ, I need to be sure I do the same! 


  What's your prejudice?

Prosperity Theology?

  I am not against being happy, wealthy and healthy.   Being in an unhappy, poor and unhealthy state is not comfortable.  It's not fun.  It's not a goal of mine in any way, shape or form.  Being unhappy is such an epidemic in our culture today, that the pharmaceutical companies, alcohol and illegal drug business is booming!  Psychiatry is a lucrative field to be in these days.  What about those who abuse food for comfort?  In spite of all of the luxuries and abundance of material things, entertainment and food in this country (USA), the latest statistic from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention states that 10% of Americans 18 or older, or 23 million people, are affected by depression.  It is quite possible that this number is low as many suffer in silence and don't show up on any statistics.  Instead of listening to our conscience and changing our choices and behaviors, we treat the symptoms.


  Sadly, there are also many "Christian" leaders using their skills of positive speech, influential platforms and book-writing to help people overcome sadness by "thinking or saying positive things".  Some even go as far as saying if you send in so much money, God promises to return it 100%!  This is called Prosperity Theology.  Pews and stadiums are full of people seeking happiness and prosperity, even if it means going to Church to find it.  There is a lot of money being made in Christian book sales, donations, and tithes on the promise of success and prosperity.  We own a Christian Book Store and could probably have paid our year's rent in 6 months if we sold these books (but we don't).


  But, what does Christ and the Apostles in Scripture teach?  Did Jesus walk around preaching that the Christian's goal in this life is to live happy, successful and sickness-free on earth?   He healed people--yes, but it wasn't for their own benefit so they could go just live life happy and wealthy.  He healed people to reward their faith in Him, to demonstrate that He was God in human form, and to bring others to saving faith as they witnessed the miracles and went out and told others.  Actually, in Matthew 19:23-24 Jesus made an astounding comment:  “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”  Jesus wasn't saying that being rich meant you could not go to Heaven, but He is warning that being wealthy makes it harder to live in faith and trust in God.  This teaching is totally opposite of what the Prosperity Gospel preachers are touting and making so much money and building mega Churches on today.  Jesus' entire sermon on the mount as told in Matthew 5 flies in the face of the Prosperity Gospel preachers of today.


The Apostle Paul, asked God to heal him of an ailment but God's answer was no.  Here is how that entire conversation and resulting response by Paul is recorded in 2 Corinthians 12:8-10:


  "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong". 

 Also, 10 of the 12 original disciples (minus Thomas and Judas Iscariot) were killed for their faith.


  Do you think the stadium would be full of people today if a preacher preached "delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties"?  Or telling believers that by following Christ, they could very well loose their life...and should be willing to do so if necessary?


  But Jesus tells us that the Truth will set us free!  Being a follower of Christ means to "deny ourselves and take up their cross and follow Him.  For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it." (Matt 16:23-25)  Christ would not sell many books today based on that advice would He?  


  I'm not saying that Christians need to live in a depressed state. Not at all!  As a matter-of-fact, Christians should be the most joy-filled people on the planet because this life is but a vapor, a mist, and we are living this life temporarily and storing up for ourselves, treasure in Heaven that will last for an eternity!  One day, Christ will return and put all things to right and we will be living with Him in the perfect state of being!  To me, being "happy" is knowing that all of His promises for the future are true, and that today is temporary.  True prosperity in this age means obeying His commands and following Him as closely as I possibly can.  As Christians, we are pilgrims on this earth.  This is not our home and therefore we will always feel out of place and homesick while here.  I for one do not want my best life now and forfeit what God has for me in eternity.  That doesn't mean we'll be miserable here, but we won't be completely satisfied in our souls until we're home where we will be extremely prosperous in Christ!



  Do you have more questions or want more info on the Prosperity Gospel teaching/teachers?  Check out this site:   Got Questions.org

Delighted

  Rusty and I just love to delight our family and friends during visits.  We've found over time that it really doesn't take a lot to do that. Just spending quality time with people, ensuring we have plenty of their favorite foods, a comfortable place to sleep (and that's not always a requirement) and focusing on them while they're with us is usually all it takes.

  Where our grandsons are concerned, they are so easy to delight.  Plenty of cardboard boxes to build tunnels with, matchbox cars to play with,  fruit snacks, wrestling on the floor, and even quiet time on our laps delights them to no end.   That in turn gives us great pleasure to see them so happy.  To see the sparkle in their eyes, to hear their genuine and unabashed laughter, to feel their tight hugs and hear them say "Papa and Neena, we love you", has to be the greatest joy to our hearts.

   But for a select few other people in our life, no matter what we do, they never display delight.  You can go the extra mile to ensure everything you know about their likes are emphasized while their dislikes are minimal, and yet, it doesn't appear to matter.  They are so consumed with worry, sadness, stress, and self, that they can never seem to escape those feelings and enjoy the moment.  Some  appear to never be happy about anything unless they can be miserable about something. It really breaks our heart and we just want to shake them (no, that wouldn't be delightful to them but it would us ;-)) and have them see the good and quit focusing on the negative. 

  But today it hit me. How many times does God want to delight me with the everyday things like a beautiful sunset, shooting starts, beautiful array of birds in my bird feeder, or a clear sun-filled day, and yet, I'm too focused on the "burdens" of life or just too "busy".  All He wants is to see the sparkle in my eyes, a squeal of laughter, time spent with me on His lap, and to hear me say "Father, I love you".  How many times do I disappoint Him and go around with my "woe is me" focus?  I wonder sometimes why He doesn't shake me more to get my attention.  He does get my attention though and uses many different ways to do it.  But I'm praying about doing a better job of letting Him delight in me as I delight in Him and all that He has done, is still doing, and will do in the future for me and for you.

"Trust in the LORD and do good;
   dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
  Take delight in the LORD,
   and he will give you the desires of your heart.
   Commit your way to the LORD;
   trust in him and he will do this"

Psalm 37:3-5

Chosen

  There are many Biblical doctrines that I really grapple with.  I think this is by God's design.  He wants us to pursue Him and seek Him fully.  And since He made me, knit me together in my Mother's womb, He knows I love a good mystery and I have the personality to seek out the harder things that I don't understand. Maybe not at first.  I tend to sit back and meditate on things a bit before trying to dig in and analyze. But analyze I do!  I didn't set out in life to be analytical. Sometimes I think life would be so much simpler if I would just accept things at face value and never question, never dig, never want to know. 

  One such doctrine is divine election.  The doctrine that is clearly evident if you read Scripture much at all.  This is the teaching that we didn't choose God, He chose us.  And knowing the depravity of our human hearts, our self-focused nature from birth, I can see how we would naturally be unable to choose to lay down our life and follow Christ. This has to be a supernatural event. Something that isn't conjured up in our own will and mind.

  Oh my goodness I know I'm treading on controversial ground here.  This is a hotly debated, and often dividing point within the Body of Christ. I hate that we divide over secondary doctrine.  I don't fully understand that if all of us within the Body are being taught by the Holy Spirit, in humbleness and sincerity, how we can come up with different views on doctrine, but that's a topic for another blog!  In all honesty, even within my own mind, I'm divided on this topic myself.  I can see both points of view in Scripture.  And since I know that God is Just, and Holy, and Righteous, and Loving, and His ways and thoughts way above ours, I know that His Word is right, and my understanding is limited.  I fully submit to that!

  I believe with all my heart and mind that God is Sovereign.  There is nothing that happens in all of creation that isn't seen by Him, that isn't "allowed" by Him (not that He causes things to happen, but He has control of the boundaries), or that anything comes as a surprise to Him.  He knows the beginning and the end.  Because He is sovereign and knows beginning from end, He knows whom of us are His.  That doesn't release us of all reliability though. There is plenty of Scripture that shows man also has a role in this.  All you have to do is go to an online tool such as www.biblegateway.com and type in the word "chose, or chosen" and you'll see both sides.

 The point of this blog today is to show a couple of things.  1) The Christian faith is not a blind, put your brain on the shelf faith.  You can spend your entire life digging, reading, researching, and exploring Scripture (and you should!) and God will lead you down amazing paths of knowledge.  2) We in the Body should be able to debate, discuss, and explore these types of hard truths together without dividing.  Oh how Satan loves to divide us!  And 3) I'd love to have anyone who reads this blog who has done some in-depth study of the doctrine of divine election to chime in.  I'm sure I'm not the only one who has grappled with how to harmonize the truths of being chosen by God AND (notice, not versus) man's responsibility to choose life eternal.  

 Here are just some of the Scripture reference of God's choosing us.

  Jesus called his disciples and chose 12 whom he named apostles (Luke 6:13); you did not choose me but I chose you (John 15:16); I have chosen you out of the world (John 15:19); I know the ones I have chosen (John 13:18); I chose you and one of you is a devil (John 6:70); show which of these two you have chosen (Acts 1:24); Jesus gave orders to the apostles whom he had chosen (Acts 1:2); greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord (Rom. 16:13); Paul is my chosen instrument (Acts 9:15); chosen in him before the foundation of the world (Eph. 1:4); we know he chose you (1 Thess. 1:4); God chose you from the beginning for salvation (2 Thess. 2:13); God chose the poor to be rich in faith (Jas. 2:5); make your calling and election sure (2 Pet. 1:10); those with him are called, chosen and faithful (Rev. 17:14); God’s purpose in choosing (Rom. 9:11); God made a choice among you (Acts 15:7); God has chosen the weak and foolish things (1 Cor. 1:27); a remnant chosen by grace (Rom. 11:5); chosen according to the foreknowledge of God (1 Pet. 1:1–2); God chose the low-born, despised and non-entities (1 Cor. 1:28).

Day, C. A. (2009). Collins Thesaurus of the Bible. Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

  For those who'd like to listen to a great question and answer session about this topic from John MacArthur, you can do so here:  Doctrine of Election Question & Answer Session with Dr John MacArthur

Let us Scatter!

  I write this blog today with the mixture of a heavy heart and great rejoicing.  I know, it's a strange mix.  Not unlike all of the paradoxes in Scripture...you know, free-will/election, truth/grace, slave/free.  Two opposing ideas that are a divine balance.

  Two days ago, a tragedy struck at the Indiana State Fair.  The sound and lighting rigging which stood at least 3 stories high crashed down on concert goers. A sudden gust of wind, 12 miles ahead of an approaching thunderstorm clocked at 70+ miles an hour, took the structure down. I've heard that it was a mere 3 seconds between the time the structure showed signs of weakness until it hit the ground.  As of this writing, 5 are confirmed dead and approximately 40 are hospitalized with various degree of injuries.  We were introduced to the 5 who were killed during a memorial ceremony this morning. Their ages range from 21 to 51 years of age.  I couldn't help but wonder if they had any inkling that this day would be their last?  Did they have a "feeling" that something was different but discounted it? 

  Just two days prior to this event, Rusty and I were at that very stadium. We were there to worship God with 2 Christian bands.  We had been looking forward to that concert for months.  We don't go to concerts often and had never been to the Indiana State Fair before.   So we thought this would be a special chance to do both.  We were a bit disappointed however.  I don't know if it was the venue where the concert was and therefore the format of the bands was changed a bit or if we're just getting old, but Rusty and I both got the feeling that the concert was more about worshiping the bands than about worshiping God.  I found myself praying at the stadium because of that.  I was reminded again just how much the culture has influenced the Church.  In any case, Rusty and I talked much about our feelings after the concert and we both felt heavy-hearted.  We were disappointed that God wasn't lifted up as much as we had hoped outside the walls of a Church.

  But, this morning, because of the recent tragedy, there was a special prayer and memorial service at that very stadium which was televised locally in full and possibly in part nationally.  The Lt Governor of IN prayed a wonderful prayer, fully glorifying God and speaking truths that many probably have never heard.  Then the Gov spoke and lifted God up as our Comforter.  The service ended with an Indiana State Trooper leading the attendees in the song "Amazing Grace".  It was beautiful and powerful.  Then it struck me.  God was glorified magnificently in this event!  In an instant, with the power of a storm reminding us of how small we are, our fragile our life is, and a reminder that we never know when our last day will be,  God was lifted up and glorified before many more people than the Christian concert venue could've possibly reached!

  More come to faith when the Church is scattered than when it's gathered. Christianity grew by leaps and bounds when the Disciples were sent out to spread the good news.  I'm so thankful for God's grace and His reminders that He is at work and He will be glorified no matter what.  I am very sad for the families who lost loved ones in this event and I pray that this event will be used to bring about the softening of hearts and minds so that when the Church leaves the building and is scattered among the lost to spread the good news, many will be ready to receive the saving faith in Christ.

No more boating

  I am sitting quietly out on the water today just waiting for direction.  Floating isn't a bad thing.  I have to stop myself from frantically treading water because I've been so conditioned to be "doing something" that to sit and be still is really hard for me.  But, I've had more than one Godly friend remind me this week that I should relax and take some time to be still.  Afterall, I'm not even unemployed yet!  I have this week of emploment and a month of salary coming because I didn't use all of my vacation days. And during the decision process, I was fully convicted that I needed to take time away from all the noise and just "wait".  I need to remember that (thank you friends for reminding me!!)

  Rusty and I are preparing for our "Freedom" tour to kick off. We're so looking forward to connecting again with our friends and fellow service-members from our years in the Air Force. We have a group in Ft Walton Beach FL we're spending some time with and then another great group of friends in San Antonio TX.  We love those guys and are looking forward to reminiscing about the "good ole days" and sharing with them about what God has done in our life since we last saw them.  It's been one heck of a ride!  To look back on all that has happened in and with our life since Rusty and I met and married---wow. I don't even know where to begin.  I would not trade one second of it for anything.

  As I write this blog, our nation is celebrating Independence Day.  U.S. history is fascinating. If you've studied it with any depth, you can see that where we are as a free nation is divinely inspired.  So evident in fact, that many history books are being re-written as to remove anything that remotely suggests divine intervention. So many things happened beyond human effort. The dedication and fearlessness of the first settlers is beyond what many of us can imagine today.  In that respect, we as a country have a lot to be proud of and thankful to God for.  But, we have gone too far now in seeking independence. We now want to be independent of God and His will and do our own thing as a nation. Relying on the state for the things that God Himself promises to provide.  We've been so blessed in the past with natural resources, creative hard-working people, plenty of everything, that we've come to believe it's those things that made us a blessed nation.  We no longer praise the One who has given us those things.  I do pray that as a nation, we repent and turn back to God and His will.  But even if we don't, as a child of God, I pray that I personally repent, humble myself, and earnestly seek the One who alone is worthy of praise and thanksgiving for the abundant blessings that we've been given. As our Pastor reminded us yesterday, if everyone who is called by God's name, humbles themselves and prays.....THEN God will heal our land.  We can't dictate others to do it--we must do it.  Our nation can change but it will only happen one child of God at a time. Let it begin with me!