As I read through the Bible and the life of King David and the nation of Israel, I often wonder "how in the world could they walk away from God and do such wicked things when He has done such powerful things in their lives? David was a man after God's own heart at a very young age and yet for a time during his reign, he lived totally contrary to God's will, even committing adultery and murder. How can this be?"
Well, Rusty and I did the same. We both knew God at a young age. I can testify to how He saw me and my family through some very difficult times, and yet, when I got older, I too thought I could live apart from Him and His will. After all, we're good people---right? The truth is, we broke every commandment of God. When you understand the real meaning of what it is to commit adultery (even lusting after another with your eyes) and murder (if you hate your brother, you commit murder in your heart), you realize that God's standard of "good" is so much higher than any man's. None of us are "good".
One thing I didn't mention about Rusty in his testimony is that there was a youth director at the Church he attended who got cancer and died in his early 20's. Rusty was very close to him. He left behind a wife and 2 small children. Rusty thought this was very unfair and he got very angry at God. When I met Rusty, this is where he was in his spiritual walk.
Rusty left for the Air Force on his 18th birthday. I graduated from high school only 2 months after my 17th birthday so I couldn't join the military but it was in the back of my mind. I had no desire or money to attend college. Learning came pretty easy to me and I was bored with the classroom. But I had to get away from home. So I moved away to live with an Uncle and then an Aunt, both in Michigan. I worked in various jobs but knew this is not what I wanted out of life.
God brought another wonderful Christian family in my life a few months before my 18th birthday and the Dad happened to be an Air Force recruiter. They hired me in their office to do office jobs and to learn more about the Air Force. That family took me in and gave me a place to live until I figured out what I wanted to do next. They also took me to Church with them--a place I'd not been since leaving FL. I soon knew that the Air Force was what I wanted to do next so two weeks after my 18th birthday, I joined the military and left my childhood behind.
Rusty and I were both stationed in San Antonio Texas after we completed our technical training. I met him 3 months after I joined the military. Within 8 weeks of our first date, we were married. Within 3 months of marriage, we were pregnant, and a week before our first anniversary, we were parents. So within the first 18 months of our leaving home, we were new military members, newlyweds, new parents and clueless! If we ever needed God in our life, it was then. But we were young and invincible. We could do it on our own!
For the next 20 years, we faced many tough challenges. Our marriage wasn't the smoothest and we made plenty of mistakes. There were various times when one or the other of us wanted out. But thankfully, by God's grace, neither of us wanted out at the same time. One of us was always willing to hang onto our marriage when the other didn't. We also wanted more children but never conceived again which broke our hearts. We adored our daughter and didn't want her to grow up as an only child but it wasn't to be. We buried that hurt by chasing after other things. Success was measured by material belongings, career achievements and fun. For so many years, we lived from weekend to weekend. The biggest thrill was when the clock struck 5:00 on Friday and we could meet with friends to party.
But there were many times in that 20 years that God would tap us on the shoulder and remind us He was there. Rusty served as a casualty representative during Desert Storm. He received notifications of wounded and killed Air Force members and had to provide that information to military officials in the airmen's home town so that the news could be personally delivered to the families. There is a saying that "there are no atheists in foxholes." I do believe that. At the deepest level of every man, when in fear of certain death or despair, even the most vocal deniers of God will cry out "Oh God, or Jesus Christ" involuntarily. I always knew God was there. I even silently prayed to Him many times during those first 20 years of our marriage but I hid the light that was in me and my testimony was dead. God gave us over to our choices for a time, but He never let us go.
Ironically, I didn't keep a journal during this 20-year period. I look back now and think "just as God has forgiven me, putting my sin out of His mind, I too have forgotten details of it by not recording it to be counted against me". Amazing! But, what comes next is recorded....
Isaiah 5:20-22: "Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter. Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight. Woe to those who are heroes at drinking wine and champions at mixing drinks.."
Well, Rusty and I did the same. We both knew God at a young age. I can testify to how He saw me and my family through some very difficult times, and yet, when I got older, I too thought I could live apart from Him and His will. After all, we're good people---right? The truth is, we broke every commandment of God. When you understand the real meaning of what it is to commit adultery (even lusting after another with your eyes) and murder (if you hate your brother, you commit murder in your heart), you realize that God's standard of "good" is so much higher than any man's. None of us are "good".
One thing I didn't mention about Rusty in his testimony is that there was a youth director at the Church he attended who got cancer and died in his early 20's. Rusty was very close to him. He left behind a wife and 2 small children. Rusty thought this was very unfair and he got very angry at God. When I met Rusty, this is where he was in his spiritual walk.
Rusty left for the Air Force on his 18th birthday. I graduated from high school only 2 months after my 17th birthday so I couldn't join the military but it was in the back of my mind. I had no desire or money to attend college. Learning came pretty easy to me and I was bored with the classroom. But I had to get away from home. So I moved away to live with an Uncle and then an Aunt, both in Michigan. I worked in various jobs but knew this is not what I wanted out of life.
God brought another wonderful Christian family in my life a few months before my 18th birthday and the Dad happened to be an Air Force recruiter. They hired me in their office to do office jobs and to learn more about the Air Force. That family took me in and gave me a place to live until I figured out what I wanted to do next. They also took me to Church with them--a place I'd not been since leaving FL. I soon knew that the Air Force was what I wanted to do next so two weeks after my 18th birthday, I joined the military and left my childhood behind.
Rusty and I were both stationed in San Antonio Texas after we completed our technical training. I met him 3 months after I joined the military. Within 8 weeks of our first date, we were married. Within 3 months of marriage, we were pregnant, and a week before our first anniversary, we were parents. So within the first 18 months of our leaving home, we were new military members, newlyweds, new parents and clueless! If we ever needed God in our life, it was then. But we were young and invincible. We could do it on our own!
For the next 20 years, we faced many tough challenges. Our marriage wasn't the smoothest and we made plenty of mistakes. There were various times when one or the other of us wanted out. But thankfully, by God's grace, neither of us wanted out at the same time. One of us was always willing to hang onto our marriage when the other didn't. We also wanted more children but never conceived again which broke our hearts. We adored our daughter and didn't want her to grow up as an only child but it wasn't to be. We buried that hurt by chasing after other things. Success was measured by material belongings, career achievements and fun. For so many years, we lived from weekend to weekend. The biggest thrill was when the clock struck 5:00 on Friday and we could meet with friends to party.
But there were many times in that 20 years that God would tap us on the shoulder and remind us He was there. Rusty served as a casualty representative during Desert Storm. He received notifications of wounded and killed Air Force members and had to provide that information to military officials in the airmen's home town so that the news could be personally delivered to the families. There is a saying that "there are no atheists in foxholes." I do believe that. At the deepest level of every man, when in fear of certain death or despair, even the most vocal deniers of God will cry out "Oh God, or Jesus Christ" involuntarily. I always knew God was there. I even silently prayed to Him many times during those first 20 years of our marriage but I hid the light that was in me and my testimony was dead. God gave us over to our choices for a time, but He never let us go.
Ironically, I didn't keep a journal during this 20-year period. I look back now and think "just as God has forgiven me, putting my sin out of His mind, I too have forgotten details of it by not recording it to be counted against me". Amazing! But, what comes next is recorded....
Isaiah 5:20-22: "Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter. Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight. Woe to those who are heroes at drinking wine and champions at mixing drinks.."
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