I just love Thanksgiving time. I try to live a life of Thanksgiving to God in my heart with word and deed everyday, but the national time for special Thanksgiving that allows our family and friends to gather with us is what I love about this holiday so much. We have a house-full of family and friends this long Thanksgiving weekend and for that we are so blessed. We have plenty of everything, including love for each other.
Outside of Rusty and I however, our family who is gathered, do not know Christ. They're not opposed to Him in any way. As a matter-of-fact, they do believe He exists. They just don't know Him, trust in Him, worship Him, or seek Him. Although....we do believe there is work being done by the Spirit in this area. We have seen glimpses and have been asked questions :-) But one thing they do trust in and seek (so far at least) is money. Joking around they'll say "all I want for Chrismas is a million dollars". I don't know why a million dollars is the number, but it always is. This year, we happened to have million dollar bills with the gospel message printed on them. When our family starting joking about the million dollar gift, I went to find those bills and gave each member of the family one. I told them that this was really worth a lot more than a million dollars. They laughed, looked at the bills, then left them laying on the table.
I was saddened by this...as I am anytime Jesus, who gave all for us, is disregarded so easily. I know His heart is broken by His creation when they don't know Him and don't desire to know Him. It is for this reason He came into the world to begin with, so His creation would know Him.
John 1:9-11 The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.
But then, I remember grace. It was through the grace of Christ that I came to Him...that any of us come to Him. I too was as lukewarm about Christ as our family is at one time. If someone handed me a track I don't know that I would have considered it worth anything either. But instead of disdain and contempt, Christ showered love, mercy and grace upon me. So, I have to take my thoughts captive and remember that as a follower of His, I need to respond in the same way.
My prayer for our family, friends and everyone within our personal sphere of influence is that one day, before they take their last breath, Christ will be more valuable to them than anything in this world. That He would be to them as valuable as to the man in the parable as told in Matthew 13:44 - “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field."
For that matter, I pray that I value Him in the same way.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
True Love
My "get along with everyone" nature REALLY doesn't want to write this. I do love people and want to be loved by people. But more than loving people and trying to be loved by them, I love God. I long to hear Him say "well done, good and faithful servant". So, I relinquish my feelings of timidity and write this. I pray it reaches whomever it is that God wants it to reach because I have a true love for them!
Recently I saw this graph on a Church-going friend's Facebook page.
Recently I saw this graph on a Church-going friend's Facebook page.
1 Corinthians 6:9-11 (NIV)
Or do you not know
that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived:
Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who
have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
If you claim to be a Christian and are living contrary to what the Bible teaches, you are subject to tougher judgment. PLEASE, reconsider, repent and come to a saving relationship with Jesus!
If you claim to be a Christian and are living contrary to what the Bible teaches, you are subject to tougher judgment. PLEASE, reconsider, repent and come to a saving relationship with Jesus!
It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age and who have fallen away, to be brought back to repentance. To their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Our Story (Part 6 - Into Service)
Just as Moses and Jesus spent time in the desert before being placed into service, we were called out to a desert time of our own....
We'd lived in our dream home for only 18 months when Rusty announced out of the blue, "I think we need to move closer to home". That simple declaration resulted in a big step of faith.
We picked a large number out of the air and put our home on the market thinking that if it sold for that amount we'd take that as a "sign" that this was of God. Well, the house sold within 3 weeks for full asking price!!!!! There was NO haggling! We were dazed. But, we knew God well enough by that time to trust Him so we both gave notice to our employers that we were moving to Indiana and giving up our jobs.
Well, God had other plans for us. A man "happened" to be visiting our office in Austin and heard that I was leaving the company and moving to the midwest. He had a position open in Champaign IL and asked me if I'd be interested in going to work for him there. The company would pay for our move, put us up into temporary housing until we found a new home and pay for our closing costs on a new home! As if that weren't enough, Rusty's company asked him if he'd be interested in working from IL for them for a period of time. He was in HR, and not working for a high-tech company. It was a vending company! This was nothing short of miraculous.
So, we moved to IL. We pulled into Champaign IL at noon on 1 Feb 2001 and the temperature was 2 degrees! Totally opposite of a real desert experience :-) We knew absolutely no one or anything about the town. Unlike the military where you have sponsors in the new location to help you get settled, we had only faith.
I wish I could say that we accepted this new calling on our life with much grace, faith and joy; but we didn't. Especially me. I was unhappy living there. For our friends reading this in Illinois, please don't take this personally. This was my heart condition--not a reflection of you or your state. My job situation was extremely stressful, and Rusty was bounced around in different jobs and was working very long hours. For the first 4 years we lived there I was praying and asking God to move us.
Well, He gave us the chance. When we had been in IL for 4 years, the company I worked for decided to close the local office. We were given the choice to move back to Austin or San Jose CA, or take a severance package. We had 6 weeks to make a decision. We prayed over it and when the 6-week period was up, we chose to move back to Austin. We didn't have a sure sign (at least what we expected to see) of God's will either way so we chose what made the most sense to us and what we perceived as an answer to our prayers. Well, for 3 weeks after we made that decision, neither Rusty or I had peace. So, we submitted to the Spirit and changed our decision. We opted to take the severance and stay. This took faith beyond what we could muster on our own but God gave us a peace that transcended all understanding. He rewarded that faith and obedience in a big way. A month prior to my termination and loss of 6-figure income (with no college degree remember), He delivered another position within the company to me. That job enabled me to work from home full time and not only keep my pay, but get a raise! I repented for my lack of faith, joy and trust in Him. My heart changed again and I vowed that no matter where He had us, I would serve with all my heart.
We did join a Church there for the first time in our life. We met some wonderful God-loving people and we enjoyed serving alongside them. But the truths of Paul's letters to the Churches in his epistles definitely came alive to us during this time. We learned so much about living for Christ both in the world and in the Church. The truth that not all who attend or even serve within a Church are true Christians became very clear to us. Satan does some of his most effective work from within the Church. This is not a surprise to God and shouldn't be a surprise to His children. We need to always put on the full armor of God! Paul wrote so often about this in Scripture and we learned it first-hand. We have a much better appreciation and understanding of why Paul wrote about Church discipline, discernment and leadership qualifications. We were so willing to serve wherever needed, that we sometimes took positions within the Church that we were neither qualified for or called by God to serve in. But, He used it for His glory. Rusty and I were baptized in a beautifully sweet ceremony in a pond outdoors. A group of people playing golf on the other side of the pond stopped playing to watch. This was Rusty's first time baptized and my re-dedication to Christ.
God blessed us in so many ways while in IL. Our beautiful daughter moved to IL when we'd been there about 3 years so she was close to us again. We gained a son-in-law and 3 grandsons while there. Our daughter told me that while we were in Germany, she had a friend who would take her to Church with them when she spent the night so she knew about Jesus too. She'd even learned some worship songs which she surprised us with knowing when she started going to Church with us. God is SO faithful! Our daughter and her husband are attending Church to this day and ensuring the boys are learning about God! Baptism is now being considered!
After we had accepted in our heart that IL was were God would have us serve, He moved us. This reminds me of the story of Moses and the Israelites in the desert. Their journey should've taken only days, but because of their hard hearts and disobedience, their time in the desert was extended and it took 40 years for them to arrive in the promised land! After completing 7 years in IL, without any premeditated planning on our part, He moved us to Indiana (this may be a blog of it's own in the near future). He also delivered to us our own business, a book shop, which has been a dream of ours for a long time. God has also blessed us with wonderful God-loving, service-oriented, mission-minded friends and Church.
We are currently in another time of trusting fully in Him. We have recently given up the big 6-figure income and are relying totally on His provision. We know He can be trusted fully even when, especially when, it makes no sense from the world's perspective.
I want to clarify something here in our story. I've glossed over many struggles and hard-times we've faced in our faith. This is mainly because they are nothing compared to the blessing and worth of serving Christ in every circumstance. But so many people are being told that coming to Christ means you'll be blessed with health, wealth and positive things only and I don't want to portray that falsely with our life's story. Jesus tells us "in this world, you will have trouble" but He also promises to be with us always. Everyone will have trouble in this life, whether a Christian or not. How much sweeter to face that trouble with the Lord! Following and serving Christ is not an easy road. If it were, everyone would take it. But the rewards and deep sense of peace is SO worth it.
Romans 14:17-18 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.
We'd lived in our dream home for only 18 months when Rusty announced out of the blue, "I think we need to move closer to home". That simple declaration resulted in a big step of faith.
We picked a large number out of the air and put our home on the market thinking that if it sold for that amount we'd take that as a "sign" that this was of God. Well, the house sold within 3 weeks for full asking price!!!!! There was NO haggling! We were dazed. But, we knew God well enough by that time to trust Him so we both gave notice to our employers that we were moving to Indiana and giving up our jobs.
Well, God had other plans for us. A man "happened" to be visiting our office in Austin and heard that I was leaving the company and moving to the midwest. He had a position open in Champaign IL and asked me if I'd be interested in going to work for him there. The company would pay for our move, put us up into temporary housing until we found a new home and pay for our closing costs on a new home! As if that weren't enough, Rusty's company asked him if he'd be interested in working from IL for them for a period of time. He was in HR, and not working for a high-tech company. It was a vending company! This was nothing short of miraculous.
So, we moved to IL. We pulled into Champaign IL at noon on 1 Feb 2001 and the temperature was 2 degrees! Totally opposite of a real desert experience :-) We knew absolutely no one or anything about the town. Unlike the military where you have sponsors in the new location to help you get settled, we had only faith.
I wish I could say that we accepted this new calling on our life with much grace, faith and joy; but we didn't. Especially me. I was unhappy living there. For our friends reading this in Illinois, please don't take this personally. This was my heart condition--not a reflection of you or your state. My job situation was extremely stressful, and Rusty was bounced around in different jobs and was working very long hours. For the first 4 years we lived there I was praying and asking God to move us.
Well, He gave us the chance. When we had been in IL for 4 years, the company I worked for decided to close the local office. We were given the choice to move back to Austin or San Jose CA, or take a severance package. We had 6 weeks to make a decision. We prayed over it and when the 6-week period was up, we chose to move back to Austin. We didn't have a sure sign (at least what we expected to see) of God's will either way so we chose what made the most sense to us and what we perceived as an answer to our prayers. Well, for 3 weeks after we made that decision, neither Rusty or I had peace. So, we submitted to the Spirit and changed our decision. We opted to take the severance and stay. This took faith beyond what we could muster on our own but God gave us a peace that transcended all understanding. He rewarded that faith and obedience in a big way. A month prior to my termination and loss of 6-figure income (with no college degree remember), He delivered another position within the company to me. That job enabled me to work from home full time and not only keep my pay, but get a raise! I repented for my lack of faith, joy and trust in Him. My heart changed again and I vowed that no matter where He had us, I would serve with all my heart.
We did join a Church there for the first time in our life. We met some wonderful God-loving people and we enjoyed serving alongside them. But the truths of Paul's letters to the Churches in his epistles definitely came alive to us during this time. We learned so much about living for Christ both in the world and in the Church. The truth that not all who attend or even serve within a Church are true Christians became very clear to us. Satan does some of his most effective work from within the Church. This is not a surprise to God and shouldn't be a surprise to His children. We need to always put on the full armor of God! Paul wrote so often about this in Scripture and we learned it first-hand. We have a much better appreciation and understanding of why Paul wrote about Church discipline, discernment and leadership qualifications. We were so willing to serve wherever needed, that we sometimes took positions within the Church that we were neither qualified for or called by God to serve in. But, He used it for His glory. Rusty and I were baptized in a beautifully sweet ceremony in a pond outdoors. A group of people playing golf on the other side of the pond stopped playing to watch. This was Rusty's first time baptized and my re-dedication to Christ.
God blessed us in so many ways while in IL. Our beautiful daughter moved to IL when we'd been there about 3 years so she was close to us again. We gained a son-in-law and 3 grandsons while there. Our daughter told me that while we were in Germany, she had a friend who would take her to Church with them when she spent the night so she knew about Jesus too. She'd even learned some worship songs which she surprised us with knowing when she started going to Church with us. God is SO faithful! Our daughter and her husband are attending Church to this day and ensuring the boys are learning about God! Baptism is now being considered!
After we had accepted in our heart that IL was were God would have us serve, He moved us. This reminds me of the story of Moses and the Israelites in the desert. Their journey should've taken only days, but because of their hard hearts and disobedience, their time in the desert was extended and it took 40 years for them to arrive in the promised land! After completing 7 years in IL, without any premeditated planning on our part, He moved us to Indiana (this may be a blog of it's own in the near future). He also delivered to us our own business, a book shop, which has been a dream of ours for a long time. God has also blessed us with wonderful God-loving, service-oriented, mission-minded friends and Church.
We are currently in another time of trusting fully in Him. We have recently given up the big 6-figure income and are relying totally on His provision. We know He can be trusted fully even when, especially when, it makes no sense from the world's perspective.
I want to clarify something here in our story. I've glossed over many struggles and hard-times we've faced in our faith. This is mainly because they are nothing compared to the blessing and worth of serving Christ in every circumstance. But so many people are being told that coming to Christ means you'll be blessed with health, wealth and positive things only and I don't want to portray that falsely with our life's story. Jesus tells us "in this world, you will have trouble" but He also promises to be with us always. Everyone will have trouble in this life, whether a Christian or not. How much sweeter to face that trouble with the Lord! Following and serving Christ is not an easy road. If it were, everyone would take it. But the rewards and deep sense of peace is SO worth it.
Romans 14:17-18 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Our Story (Part 5 - Prodicals Come Home)
In the mid 90's there was a draw down of military forces in our country. Rusty and I had became eligible to retire from the military with only 16 years of service. We opted to take that opportunity and enter the civilian world. We were stationed in Germany at the time.
When we were thinking about retiring, we would talk often about where we would live, how much money we might be able to make on the outside, etc. I remember saying that if I could find a job making $30K a year, I'd be thrilled. Even though we liked having fun and buying things, we never aspired to wealth. That was never a goal.
Three years after we retired, in spite of my saying no numerous times to a head-hunter, I found myself working for a high tech start-up company in San Antonio. Five months after I started working for them a fortune 500 company bought us. Unbelievably, when they bought us, they not only kept the people, they gave us shares in their company in exchange for the shares we owned in our company. Our company stock was worth 0, theirs was worth $60 a share! Overnight I went from living from paycheck to paycheck to having plenty!
About a year after moving into our country dream home, Rusty and I were sitting on the porch one evening when I asked the question aloud, "how in the world did we get here?" But the question ran deep in me. As I sat there and reflected on my life, I was absolutely amazed at the path it had taken. Usually God uses very difficult and painful events in people's lives to bring them to Him. It's normally when we get totally stuck or lose hope that we're willing to let Him in. But, in our case, He used very positive events. I don't know why. Maybe because pain, lack of money and broken relationships was the norm in our life and He knew He'd get our attention faster with the opposite. That is pure conjecture on my part. Who can know the mind of God? All I know is that we didn't deserve it.
I started thinking more about God. I set out to find my Bible and thought I'd just start reading through it. As an adult, I had heard many things about God. Some sounded familiar and true from what I recalled as a child, but many things didn't. So I cried out to Him, "God, I want to know who you are and I want to know it from You, not man." I opened up the Bible to Genesis, and started reading. Months went by and I stuck with it, praying often for His guidance. I got to the book of Dueteronomy when it hit me, "this is all about Jesus!". I couldn't wait to get into the new Testament where it talked about Jesus more clearly so I'd alternate reading a book in the old and new Testament. I was sitting on my front porch when I started reading the book of John. I read "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made." My jaw dropped as I grasped what God just revealed to me. Jesus was not just a man, or a created mini-god being used by God on earth, he Himself was God. Not God the Father, but God the Son! This was quite a revelation to me. I continued to read, pray and grow in faith.
I wasn't saying anything to Rusty yet about my journey but I longed so much for him to join me in knowing God. On our 20th anniversary I wrote Rusty a letter. In that letter I told him that I loved him but there was something missing in our marriage. I asked him if he would seek God with me. Rusty read that letter and wept. He told me that he'd do anything for me, but he didn't know if he could that.
A few more months went by and I focused on my own learning and praying. I started praying for Rusty and asked God to reveal Himself to Rusty as He had me. I didn't know this for some time, but Rusty had gone into Walmart not long after our anniversary to pick up something and as he walked by the book section, he said he saw only one book on the shelf there and it was "The Bible For Dummies". He told me later that he could not walk past that book without buying it. It jumped off the shelf at him. Funny how God works--yes, even in Walmart :-).
Sometime during his reading of the Bible For Dummies, God softened Rusty's heart. He "forgave" God and asked Him to take over his life again. We were not going to Church and not hanging out with other Christians, but God was teaching us. We knew we needed to get with other believers and serve with them, but we didn't know where to start. God took care of that. He asked us to leave Texas and go to a land where we knew no one. A foreign land to us.....Illinois!
That story is coming up next......
Remember my wish-list from high school? Here I was with a wonderful husband who loved me enough to get past his pain and seek God, a beautiful dream home, and not one but 3 nice cars. There was one thing missing on my list, the number one item---serving God.
When we were thinking about retiring, we would talk often about where we would live, how much money we might be able to make on the outside, etc. I remember saying that if I could find a job making $30K a year, I'd be thrilled. Even though we liked having fun and buying things, we never aspired to wealth. That was never a goal.
Three years after we retired, in spite of my saying no numerous times to a head-hunter, I found myself working for a high tech start-up company in San Antonio. Five months after I started working for them a fortune 500 company bought us. Unbelievably, when they bought us, they not only kept the people, they gave us shares in their company in exchange for the shares we owned in our company. Our company stock was worth 0, theirs was worth $60 a share! Overnight I went from living from paycheck to paycheck to having plenty!
About a year after moving into our country dream home, Rusty and I were sitting on the porch one evening when I asked the question aloud, "how in the world did we get here?" But the question ran deep in me. As I sat there and reflected on my life, I was absolutely amazed at the path it had taken. Usually God uses very difficult and painful events in people's lives to bring them to Him. It's normally when we get totally stuck or lose hope that we're willing to let Him in. But, in our case, He used very positive events. I don't know why. Maybe because pain, lack of money and broken relationships was the norm in our life and He knew He'd get our attention faster with the opposite. That is pure conjecture on my part. Who can know the mind of God? All I know is that we didn't deserve it.
I started thinking more about God. I set out to find my Bible and thought I'd just start reading through it. As an adult, I had heard many things about God. Some sounded familiar and true from what I recalled as a child, but many things didn't. So I cried out to Him, "God, I want to know who you are and I want to know it from You, not man." I opened up the Bible to Genesis, and started reading. Months went by and I stuck with it, praying often for His guidance. I got to the book of Dueteronomy when it hit me, "this is all about Jesus!". I couldn't wait to get into the new Testament where it talked about Jesus more clearly so I'd alternate reading a book in the old and new Testament. I was sitting on my front porch when I started reading the book of John. I read "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made." My jaw dropped as I grasped what God just revealed to me. Jesus was not just a man, or a created mini-god being used by God on earth, he Himself was God. Not God the Father, but God the Son! This was quite a revelation to me. I continued to read, pray and grow in faith.
I wasn't saying anything to Rusty yet about my journey but I longed so much for him to join me in knowing God. On our 20th anniversary I wrote Rusty a letter. In that letter I told him that I loved him but there was something missing in our marriage. I asked him if he would seek God with me. Rusty read that letter and wept. He told me that he'd do anything for me, but he didn't know if he could that.
A few more months went by and I focused on my own learning and praying. I started praying for Rusty and asked God to reveal Himself to Rusty as He had me. I didn't know this for some time, but Rusty had gone into Walmart not long after our anniversary to pick up something and as he walked by the book section, he said he saw only one book on the shelf there and it was "The Bible For Dummies". He told me later that he could not walk past that book without buying it. It jumped off the shelf at him. Funny how God works--yes, even in Walmart :-).
Sometime during his reading of the Bible For Dummies, God softened Rusty's heart. He "forgave" God and asked Him to take over his life again. We were not going to Church and not hanging out with other Christians, but God was teaching us. We knew we needed to get with other believers and serve with them, but we didn't know where to start. God took care of that. He asked us to leave Texas and go to a land where we knew no one. A foreign land to us.....Illinois!
That story is coming up next......
Remember my wish-list from high school? Here I was with a wonderful husband who loved me enough to get past his pain and seek God, a beautiful dream home, and not one but 3 nice cars. There was one thing missing on my list, the number one item---serving God.
Jeremiah 29:12-14 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity...."
Friday, October 28, 2011
Our Story (Part 4 - Wise in Our Own Eyes)
As I read through the Bible and the life of King David and the nation of Israel, I often wonder "how in the world could they walk away from God and do such wicked things when He has done such powerful things in their lives? David was a man after God's own heart at a very young age and yet for a time during his reign, he lived totally contrary to God's will, even committing adultery and murder. How can this be?"
Well, Rusty and I did the same. We both knew God at a young age. I can testify to how He saw me and my family through some very difficult times, and yet, when I got older, I too thought I could live apart from Him and His will. After all, we're good people---right? The truth is, we broke every commandment of God. When you understand the real meaning of what it is to commit adultery (even lusting after another with your eyes) and murder (if you hate your brother, you commit murder in your heart), you realize that God's standard of "good" is so much higher than any man's. None of us are "good".
One thing I didn't mention about Rusty in his testimony is that there was a youth director at the Church he attended who got cancer and died in his early 20's. Rusty was very close to him. He left behind a wife and 2 small children. Rusty thought this was very unfair and he got very angry at God. When I met Rusty, this is where he was in his spiritual walk.
Rusty left for the Air Force on his 18th birthday. I graduated from high school only 2 months after my 17th birthday so I couldn't join the military but it was in the back of my mind. I had no desire or money to attend college. Learning came pretty easy to me and I was bored with the classroom. But I had to get away from home. So I moved away to live with an Uncle and then an Aunt, both in Michigan. I worked in various jobs but knew this is not what I wanted out of life.
God brought another wonderful Christian family in my life a few months before my 18th birthday and the Dad happened to be an Air Force recruiter. They hired me in their office to do office jobs and to learn more about the Air Force. That family took me in and gave me a place to live until I figured out what I wanted to do next. They also took me to Church with them--a place I'd not been since leaving FL. I soon knew that the Air Force was what I wanted to do next so two weeks after my 18th birthday, I joined the military and left my childhood behind.
Rusty and I were both stationed in San Antonio Texas after we completed our technical training. I met him 3 months after I joined the military. Within 8 weeks of our first date, we were married. Within 3 months of marriage, we were pregnant, and a week before our first anniversary, we were parents. So within the first 18 months of our leaving home, we were new military members, newlyweds, new parents and clueless! If we ever needed God in our life, it was then. But we were young and invincible. We could do it on our own!
For the next 20 years, we faced many tough challenges. Our marriage wasn't the smoothest and we made plenty of mistakes. There were various times when one or the other of us wanted out. But thankfully, by God's grace, neither of us wanted out at the same time. One of us was always willing to hang onto our marriage when the other didn't. We also wanted more children but never conceived again which broke our hearts. We adored our daughter and didn't want her to grow up as an only child but it wasn't to be. We buried that hurt by chasing after other things. Success was measured by material belongings, career achievements and fun. For so many years, we lived from weekend to weekend. The biggest thrill was when the clock struck 5:00 on Friday and we could meet with friends to party.
But there were many times in that 20 years that God would tap us on the shoulder and remind us He was there. Rusty served as a casualty representative during Desert Storm. He received notifications of wounded and killed Air Force members and had to provide that information to military officials in the airmen's home town so that the news could be personally delivered to the families. There is a saying that "there are no atheists in foxholes." I do believe that. At the deepest level of every man, when in fear of certain death or despair, even the most vocal deniers of God will cry out "Oh God, or Jesus Christ" involuntarily. I always knew God was there. I even silently prayed to Him many times during those first 20 years of our marriage but I hid the light that was in me and my testimony was dead. God gave us over to our choices for a time, but He never let us go.
Ironically, I didn't keep a journal during this 20-year period. I look back now and think "just as God has forgiven me, putting my sin out of His mind, I too have forgotten details of it by not recording it to be counted against me". Amazing! But, what comes next is recorded....
Isaiah 5:20-22: "Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter. Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight. Woe to those who are heroes at drinking wine and champions at mixing drinks.."
Well, Rusty and I did the same. We both knew God at a young age. I can testify to how He saw me and my family through some very difficult times, and yet, when I got older, I too thought I could live apart from Him and His will. After all, we're good people---right? The truth is, we broke every commandment of God. When you understand the real meaning of what it is to commit adultery (even lusting after another with your eyes) and murder (if you hate your brother, you commit murder in your heart), you realize that God's standard of "good" is so much higher than any man's. None of us are "good".
One thing I didn't mention about Rusty in his testimony is that there was a youth director at the Church he attended who got cancer and died in his early 20's. Rusty was very close to him. He left behind a wife and 2 small children. Rusty thought this was very unfair and he got very angry at God. When I met Rusty, this is where he was in his spiritual walk.
Rusty left for the Air Force on his 18th birthday. I graduated from high school only 2 months after my 17th birthday so I couldn't join the military but it was in the back of my mind. I had no desire or money to attend college. Learning came pretty easy to me and I was bored with the classroom. But I had to get away from home. So I moved away to live with an Uncle and then an Aunt, both in Michigan. I worked in various jobs but knew this is not what I wanted out of life.
God brought another wonderful Christian family in my life a few months before my 18th birthday and the Dad happened to be an Air Force recruiter. They hired me in their office to do office jobs and to learn more about the Air Force. That family took me in and gave me a place to live until I figured out what I wanted to do next. They also took me to Church with them--a place I'd not been since leaving FL. I soon knew that the Air Force was what I wanted to do next so two weeks after my 18th birthday, I joined the military and left my childhood behind.
Rusty and I were both stationed in San Antonio Texas after we completed our technical training. I met him 3 months after I joined the military. Within 8 weeks of our first date, we were married. Within 3 months of marriage, we were pregnant, and a week before our first anniversary, we were parents. So within the first 18 months of our leaving home, we were new military members, newlyweds, new parents and clueless! If we ever needed God in our life, it was then. But we were young and invincible. We could do it on our own!
For the next 20 years, we faced many tough challenges. Our marriage wasn't the smoothest and we made plenty of mistakes. There were various times when one or the other of us wanted out. But thankfully, by God's grace, neither of us wanted out at the same time. One of us was always willing to hang onto our marriage when the other didn't. We also wanted more children but never conceived again which broke our hearts. We adored our daughter and didn't want her to grow up as an only child but it wasn't to be. We buried that hurt by chasing after other things. Success was measured by material belongings, career achievements and fun. For so many years, we lived from weekend to weekend. The biggest thrill was when the clock struck 5:00 on Friday and we could meet with friends to party.
But there were many times in that 20 years that God would tap us on the shoulder and remind us He was there. Rusty served as a casualty representative during Desert Storm. He received notifications of wounded and killed Air Force members and had to provide that information to military officials in the airmen's home town so that the news could be personally delivered to the families. There is a saying that "there are no atheists in foxholes." I do believe that. At the deepest level of every man, when in fear of certain death or despair, even the most vocal deniers of God will cry out "Oh God, or Jesus Christ" involuntarily. I always knew God was there. I even silently prayed to Him many times during those first 20 years of our marriage but I hid the light that was in me and my testimony was dead. God gave us over to our choices for a time, but He never let us go.
Ironically, I didn't keep a journal during this 20-year period. I look back now and think "just as God has forgiven me, putting my sin out of His mind, I too have forgotten details of it by not recording it to be counted against me". Amazing! But, what comes next is recorded....
Isaiah 5:20-22: "Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter. Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight. Woe to those who are heroes at drinking wine and champions at mixing drinks.."
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Our Story (Part 3 - Terri's 1st Encounter)
I could write so much here as I have kept journals since I was 9 or so. But, in respect of your time and to highlight the most important things, I'll try to keep it brief.
I grew up in a small town in FL until the age of 14. I am the oldest of 4 children, 3 girls and 1 boy. My family wasn't wealthy by any stretch of the imagination but for the most part we had enough.
I wasn't reared in a Christian home either. We didn't pray at home, read the Bible together, or live by God's precepts, but Mom did make it a point to take us to Church relatively often for a period of time. I give her great credit because she didn't just drop us off to go by ourselves, she went with us. For me, just as for Rusty, going to Church was a way of socializing. We lived in the country and going to Church was a way we got to see people other than our family. It was in Church that I heard of God and Jesus, sin and our need for repentance. I wasn't sure what all that meant but every Sunday after the sermon, there was an invitation to walk to the altar to the song "Just As I Am" and ask Jesus to forgive me.
I was 12 years old when there was a young lady visiting our Church who came to sing for us. She sang the song "Jesus my Everything". I'm sitting in the pew, tears streaming down my face, knowing that I wanted to know this Jesus that she sung so beautifully about. At the end of that service, I went to the altar and asked Jesus to forgive me of my sins and take over my life. I was baptized not long after on a chilly Feb morning in a baptismal that had no hot water. I remember coming up out of that water and taking in the deepest breath of my life. I'm not sure if it was solely due to the cold water or the feeling I was taking the first breath of new life, but it's a breath I remember to this day! A dear lady from Church, Mrs Banta, gave me a Bible as a baptism gift. It was "The Living Bible" a paraphrased version, but it was very easy to read and understand for a 12-year old. I cherish that Bible to this day. She also encouraged me to come to her if I had any questions about what I read, or about Christ, or about life in general. She was one of God's faithful servants!
Life for my family got really difficult not long after that. Mom and my stepfather divorced (after many many years of fighting) and we found ourselves without a home and no money. I was so happy to be out from under that man's roof that I was okay with not having anything else. Again, God used Mrs Banta as a wonderful servant. She gave us a roof over our heads, brought us groceries and made sure we had what we needed. It makes me tear up today to know how much of a sacrifice that lady must've made for us. We were no relation to her at all, had nothing to give her in return, and yet, she gave to us unselfishly. This my friends, is the love of Christ. She not only helped me with my spiritual growth, but she met a very physical and emotional need.
During this time, I grew especially close to Jesus. I would steal away to private places in the woods, in the pasture, along the river, where ever I could get away from everyone, take my Bible, read and pray. Jesus was as real to me as anyone else. He became the Father I didn't have. I couldn't see Him with my eyes, couldn't hear Him with my ears, nor touch Him with my hands, but He was there, speaking and guiding me. Every now and then I will open up that old Bible and look at the notes I used to write within it's pages and I'm amazed at the insight I had as a young child.
A big change came in my life again at the age of 14. My Mom remarried and we moved from north FL to Swaziland, Africa. Ripped out of my comfort zone, God put a missionary family in our life that had a great impact on me. They modeled for me how a Christian family is to live. It involved a lot more than just going to Church. They sang songs of praise and hymns, they read the Bible and prayed together. They sacrificed living a life of creature comforts to serve others. Oh, they weren't perfect! No one is. That's the whole point of the Gospel and the good news. But they lived out their faith in a tangible way.
I moved back to the States when I was 15 and because of the vast differences in the education system (I had been attending a college prep school for girls in South Africa), I was placed into 11th grade versus 10th where most kids my age were. Being with "older" kids, coupled with being the new girl in a new school in a new State (Indiana), and the great need to fit in, I turned away from living for Christ. Boy, how quickly we forget and fall!
In my High School memory book, in the section where you're to write your goals for the future, I wrote this list in this order:
1. I want to serve God.
2. I want to be married only once to a man who loves me and our children.
3. I want a nice house.
4. I want a nice car.
This is important as you'll see when you read the rest of the story! :-)
Proverbs 22:5-7 "In the paths of the wicked are snares and pitfalls, but those who would preserve their life stay far from them. Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it."
I grew up in a small town in FL until the age of 14. I am the oldest of 4 children, 3 girls and 1 boy. My family wasn't wealthy by any stretch of the imagination but for the most part we had enough.
I wasn't reared in a Christian home either. We didn't pray at home, read the Bible together, or live by God's precepts, but Mom did make it a point to take us to Church relatively often for a period of time. I give her great credit because she didn't just drop us off to go by ourselves, she went with us. For me, just as for Rusty, going to Church was a way of socializing. We lived in the country and going to Church was a way we got to see people other than our family. It was in Church that I heard of God and Jesus, sin and our need for repentance. I wasn't sure what all that meant but every Sunday after the sermon, there was an invitation to walk to the altar to the song "Just As I Am" and ask Jesus to forgive me.
I was 12 years old when there was a young lady visiting our Church who came to sing for us. She sang the song "Jesus my Everything". I'm sitting in the pew, tears streaming down my face, knowing that I wanted to know this Jesus that she sung so beautifully about. At the end of that service, I went to the altar and asked Jesus to forgive me of my sins and take over my life. I was baptized not long after on a chilly Feb morning in a baptismal that had no hot water. I remember coming up out of that water and taking in the deepest breath of my life. I'm not sure if it was solely due to the cold water or the feeling I was taking the first breath of new life, but it's a breath I remember to this day! A dear lady from Church, Mrs Banta, gave me a Bible as a baptism gift. It was "The Living Bible" a paraphrased version, but it was very easy to read and understand for a 12-year old. I cherish that Bible to this day. She also encouraged me to come to her if I had any questions about what I read, or about Christ, or about life in general. She was one of God's faithful servants!
Life for my family got really difficult not long after that. Mom and my stepfather divorced (after many many years of fighting) and we found ourselves without a home and no money. I was so happy to be out from under that man's roof that I was okay with not having anything else. Again, God used Mrs Banta as a wonderful servant. She gave us a roof over our heads, brought us groceries and made sure we had what we needed. It makes me tear up today to know how much of a sacrifice that lady must've made for us. We were no relation to her at all, had nothing to give her in return, and yet, she gave to us unselfishly. This my friends, is the love of Christ. She not only helped me with my spiritual growth, but she met a very physical and emotional need.
During this time, I grew especially close to Jesus. I would steal away to private places in the woods, in the pasture, along the river, where ever I could get away from everyone, take my Bible, read and pray. Jesus was as real to me as anyone else. He became the Father I didn't have. I couldn't see Him with my eyes, couldn't hear Him with my ears, nor touch Him with my hands, but He was there, speaking and guiding me. Every now and then I will open up that old Bible and look at the notes I used to write within it's pages and I'm amazed at the insight I had as a young child.
A big change came in my life again at the age of 14. My Mom remarried and we moved from north FL to Swaziland, Africa. Ripped out of my comfort zone, God put a missionary family in our life that had a great impact on me. They modeled for me how a Christian family is to live. It involved a lot more than just going to Church. They sang songs of praise and hymns, they read the Bible and prayed together. They sacrificed living a life of creature comforts to serve others. Oh, they weren't perfect! No one is. That's the whole point of the Gospel and the good news. But they lived out their faith in a tangible way.
I moved back to the States when I was 15 and because of the vast differences in the education system (I had been attending a college prep school for girls in South Africa), I was placed into 11th grade versus 10th where most kids my age were. Being with "older" kids, coupled with being the new girl in a new school in a new State (Indiana), and the great need to fit in, I turned away from living for Christ. Boy, how quickly we forget and fall!
In my High School memory book, in the section where you're to write your goals for the future, I wrote this list in this order:
1. I want to serve God.
2. I want to be married only once to a man who loves me and our children.
3. I want a nice house.
4. I want a nice car.
This is important as you'll see when you read the rest of the story! :-)
Proverbs 22:5-7 "In the paths of the wicked are snares and pitfalls, but those who would preserve their life stay far from them. Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it."
Monday, October 24, 2011
Our Story (Part 2-Rusty's 1st Encounter)
Rusty grew up in a poor family in a very small town in Indiana. He is the oldest of 4 children, 3 boys and a girl. Not only was the family poor monetarily, they were very poor spiritually. The family did not go to Church together, pray together, or mention God other than maybe Christmas or in profanity. It's not that they were unbelievers, they did believe He existed, they just didn't see the value of knowing Him. Church was really looked at as an entity where hypocrites gathered to make themselves feel better. Besides, money was scarce and Rusty's Dad worked hard to provide for the family. Rusty's Mom was struck with cancer in her early 30's and lost her leg, so it took all she had to keep the family taken care of at home. In their opinion, at best, God was a cosmic kill-joy watching people struggle from afar.
Rusty did have some good friends though whose family went to Church. At age 10 they started inviting him to Church with them. He jumped at the chance to go. It was a social outing away from home and a chance to meet new friends. He heard a lot about God and Jesus and was even moved during one revival service to seek forgiveness and walked up the long aisle (at least it seemed long) to the altar. He "accepted" Christ during that service and he tells me that he walked home after that as if his feet never touched the ground. He felt the touch of Christ on his life.
The next blog to come is my first encounter. Stay tuned! :-)
Rusty did have some good friends though whose family went to Church. At age 10 they started inviting him to Church with them. He jumped at the chance to go. It was a social outing away from home and a chance to meet new friends. He heard a lot about God and Jesus and was even moved during one revival service to seek forgiveness and walked up the long aisle (at least it seemed long) to the altar. He "accepted" Christ during that service and he tells me that he walked home after that as if his feet never touched the ground. He felt the touch of Christ on his life.
Unfortunately, there was no mentor ship, no discipleship, no follow-up. Although Rusty became aware of Christ in a personal way and desired to follow Him, with no one to help him to grow in the Word, he strayed away to pursue the things of the world.
I want to stop the story here today to talk about this last point because this is where our heart is and why we feel God has us in the mission we're in at the book shop. Dear friends, if you have people coming to faith in Christ in your Church or in your sphere of influence, PLEASE make it a point to help disciple and mentor them. They are babies and as such, are subject to attacks of all kinds. Being left to defend themselves is not the model that Christ gives us in Scripture. False teaching is rampant and way more accessable to the casual believers and new converts than the solid truth is. Just turn on the T.V. or walk into many Christian bookstores for examples! And sadly, too many Churches are too busy with programs, projects, or whatever else to intentionally disciple new believers. This is a tragedy! God will make good on His promise to redeem and save a truly repentant believer who is doing their best to trust and walk with Him, but my goodness how much better and faster for a new believer if they have people helping them along the way! Besides, this is how God modeled it for us during Jesus' incarnation as man on earth.
And for goodness sake, don't take a child's submission to Christ lightly. Rusty was 11, I was 12. But there are some younger. We KNEW Christ that day. We just needed some adult guidance and care giving to help foster our spiritual growth.
Matthew 19:14: Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
The next blog to come is my first encounter. Stay tuned! :-)
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